Unwanted Kiss
by The katics
Summary: What if the kiss with Erik Vaughn had gone to far and she couldn't stop it? Expect the unexpected.
1. Chapter 1

So here's our new story. hope you enjoy it as much as we do writing it. sorry for all the mistakes english is not our first language.

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And there he was again, confusing her. He was right though, she and castle have to talk to see where they were going, this relationship, she thinks she can call it a relationship. She knows that she's in love with him. He's her one and done, but they need to talk some things.

- He's a fool – Erik Vaughn said looking at her eyes.  
- He's not a fool. It's just that we haven't talked yet about where we are headed,  
what we exactly have.  
- Then you should ask him, don't you think? Tell me something, why hasn't he asked  
you yet? - He said to her leaning against her.

Meanwhile the two cops who were watching the building where Beckett and Vaughn were staying saw some kind of flash or light and they immediately thought it was a sniper. They called Ryan and warned him about it.

Ryan and Castle went to the safe house, more like a five stars hotel to them though, they wanted to warn Beckett. But for their surprise they didn't find what they expected to find.

- Then you should ask him don't you think? Tell me something, why hasn't he asked  
you yet? – He said leaning against her.  
- I...I don't…I... - And he kissed her.

He kissed her. And she didn't push him. Why was she doing this? Why didn't she pushed him away? Beckett was asking to herself.

- Hey Beckett it's castle we... - He couldn't believe what he was seeing.  
It must be a dream right? Kate wouldn't do that to him. She couldn't be kissing  
another man.

When she recognized Castle's voice she pushed Erik far away from her and she turned with tears streaming in her eyes to see castle. What was she thinking? How she could have done this to him. To them. He was the most important thing in her life and she did this to him, she hurted him and she could see it in his face, how it changed in a second, in his eyes there were tears fighting to roll all over his face. She didn't notice Ryan but when she looked at him she saw something she has never seen before. Ryan was looking at her like he didn't know who she was. Like he couldn't believe what he just saw.

- Castle I... - She saw Castle turning around and leaving the room so fast that she couldn't think about what to do now. She couldn't breathe, tears were falling down her face. What has she done? After everything they've been through together. He waited 4 years. 4 years to let her walls fall down, 4 years to be together and when they finally got where they wanted, she does this.  
She was running through the door after him when she felt Ryan's hand.

- You better make this right. He doesn't deserve this. - And he let go of her hand.

When she was out at the street she didn't find him. She was crying, tears falling from her eyes. How could she do that? He was her partner, no more than that he was the love of her life and her one and done. She needed to find him, to find him right now. She couldn't lose him, she wouldn't survive that. She looked from left to right but she saw nothing, just the darkness in the streets and the cold air.

He was gone.

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reviews?

xo TheKatics


	2. Chapter 2

We are so sorry for the late update, we had some problems, but here we are again! Thanks so much for the reviews we appreciate it!

to BLUFIRE714 Here you got what you wanted ;) ENJOY IT HOPE YOU WILL LIKE IT :)

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She went back to the room where Ryan was talking to Erik. Ryan looked at her without saying anything and Erik smiled at her. He went walking to where she was and tried to kiss her again but this time Kate punched him in the face and said:

-Don't you dare touch me! Never again. You are not him. You didn't have the right to kiss me - and with that she turned back and went to the loft to see if she could find him there.

This could not be happening to them. It's her fault and she would take all the responsibility. She's the one to blame here. But they are meant to be, this could not brake them. They are one of those couples that everybody could say that are meant for each other. She is going to fix this. She is going to fix them. She will do wherever it takes to get him back

She nocked at Castle's door and Alexis was the one standing there looking at her with anger. Kate was sobbing and she just needed to fix it right now.

-I don't know what you did to him. But if you don't love him as much as he loves you, please Kate just let him go because he doesn't deserve all this pain. - And with that she went upstairs.

Kate closed the door behind her and went to his room. The door was locked. She nocked. Nothing.

- Please Rick, open the door. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry please open the door - she said cryingadn leaning on the door.

Nothing.

- Rick please I love you - she started crying again as she realized this was the first time she was saying that to him. No. No, she could not believe that she had to say that this late and in this situation.

Nothing.

She spent an hour there sitting at the door crying. Waiting for him to come out, but that didn't happen. She needed someone to talk to. So she went to the first person that always helped her to decide her feeling for castle and that told her to jump to them. Her friend.

- We don't have a case but it seems like you need a girl talk. So sit and tell me what happened with castle. - Lanie said when she heard Kate enter the morgue.

- How did you know it was about castle? - She asked.

- Because he is the only one who can make you cry like that. So, are you going to tell me what happened?

- Erik made me doubt about me and castle and this relationship that we have. And I was confused and he kiss me. - She said with tears in her eyes.

- Girl, tell me you pushed him away - Lanie said looking at her friend with disappointment and worry.

- No, Lanie, no I didn't and in that moment castle came in and saw us. I can't believe I did this Lanie. Why? Why I had to go and screw everything up?

- You know... I'm not saying that you don't love castle but back to that kiss and the fact that you didn't pushed him... you know they say that when you doubt is because some part of you wants that.

- What?! Lanie, no. I was just confused. I didn't know what I was doing. I love him. He's the love of my life. Him. Not some famous rich boy or anybody else. And I swear to you I'm going to fix this because I can't live without him. I'm going to fix this.

- Then go and fix it Kate. But don't hurt him again, he really don't deserve this after everything that he went through with Meredith.

- Wait, what?

- Meredith cheated on him. She broke his heart. Kate, he would have closed the doors to the love if it wasn't for her daughter or for you. So don't make this another reason for him to give up on love.

This was new. She didn't know that story. The Richard castle who always believed in magic and in all kind of happiness could not give up love. She would not let that happen. Starting from now. She went back to the loft.

She nocked at the door and to her surprise, castle opened the door. When she saw all the pain and the tears in his face, she broke, she looked straight to his eyes and said:

- Castle, I'm so sorry. I... - but he cut her off.

- Kate I need some time, I need space. - And he closed the door.

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Thanks for reading

xo THE KATICS


	3. Chapter 3

So here's a new Chapter! Hope you guys enjoy it ! :') and thanks for the reviews guys it helps us a lot :)

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She couldn't sleep that night. She spent all nights crying. She missed him so much. She missed his warm arms around her, his kisses in the middle of the night... She promised him she was going to give him space but she wasn't going to do that. She couldn't do that. She loved him.

She couldn't eat, she just stop taking care of her. She lost weight. At the precinct it was worst, they didn't stop looking and they were worried about her. She could tell that.

Ryan looked at her with compassion, like he just realized that she didn't meant for that to happen that way. She spent all days at the precinct looking at his chair.

His chair.

She couldn't help remember the first time he sat there, how she looked at him and smiled. She couldn't help remember the first time he brought her coffee. That became their thing and everybody at the precinct knew that.

And now he wasn't there. He wasn't sitting there with his beautiful smile making all day better for her. Then she remembered how 2 years ago she told him: "I have a hard job castle and having you around makes it a little bit fun ". Well, he wasn't there anymore, and she missed him so much. It was up to her to fix this and make him come back. And she knew exactly where to start.

She got up and went to gates office ignoring Ryan and Espo stares.

Castle spent 2 days in his room without eating or talking to Alexis and Martha. They were worried, but one day he just came out of his room. He didn't seem their Richard Castle. Alexis knew this was because of Kate but she didn't know the story.

- Dad please, what happened?!

- She kissed another man.

Alexis couldn't believe that. Kate would not do that to her dad, to them so she started looking for another reason she could have done that.

- Dad are you sure? Maybe you misunderstood the situation. Couldn't have been that she was on an undercover mission or something? - That was silly and she knew it but she couldn't believe that. Kate loved her dad and she was part of their family. She even started caring about the women and she wasn't going to tell this but she loved her, she was like a mother to her so she couldn't stop the tears that were falling down her face.

- Alexis I saw her. She had to take care of this Erik Vaughn and I told her I didn't like that idea because I knew that the guy was interested in her but she just went. They called Ryan to tell him that they saw something and we went to their room to warn Kate and when we opened the door they were there kissing.

- I can't believe she has done this to you. To us. I thought we were a family. But my question is, what are you going to do?

- I don't know. I love her Alexis and I don't think I can trust her again but unless I'm gonna let her try win that trust I guess. It's up to her now.

- Hope you know what you are doing. It's also up to you to let her try it.

When Alexis when upstairs to her room, he looked at his phone and he had a message from Ryan. He was thankful to his friend. He has been texting him all days asking how he was and worrying about him. He expected another text asking how he was doing today but to his surprise that wasn't the case.

"She's giving up her mother's case. "

What? Why she was doing this? He didn't know why until it hit him. She was trying to prove to him that she was in this hundred percent. That she only wanted him. He was thankful but that wasn't enough. It was a big start because he knows this isn't something you do like it's not important, because he knows that that case is her life. In other situations he would had more than enough with that but after everything that's happened, he needed more.

He heard someone behind him. Martha.

- What are you going to do with the ring?

- There's no ring anymore.

- Richard just keep that ring okay? Things might change. You don't know what will hapeen yet

He needed to go out. He needed fresh air to get things clear.

When he opened the door he found a letter.

_Dear castle:_

_It's been almost a week, a week without seen you, a week without feeling your hands around me, a week without seen those beautiful blue eyes and that beautiful smile that make me fall in love with you all over again every single day. I wish I could be there to see that and feel that but I know I'm the one to blame here. I know I promised you that I was going to give you space but I won't. I can't. Just because if I give you space you will move on, and I don't want that. Because if I give you space it means I'm giving up on you and I am definitely not. Because if I give you space it wouldn't be fair to all of those time's that I needed space but you kept pushing and that brought us together. I won't._

_I love you castle. And I'm so sorry that it took me 4 years to realize that and a while to say it to you. Look I know you think I still have my walls but that's not true. And I'm going to show you that starting from now. You'll have a letter at your door every day that has a little bit of my feelings for you and that tells you all about me. Starting from when I was little to now. That way I can show you that I'm in this hundred percent and that I don't want to hide anything from you. I hope that with that little part of me you can forgive me for what I've done and we can start all over again. Hopefully, see you soon._

_I love you more than anything castle._

_PD: you will be my one and done._

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reviews are always welcome!

xo The Katics

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	4. Chapter 4

So guys we are sorry for the mistakes english is not our first language and we write this story 2 persons and sometimes it's difficult to do it but we try to do our best.

Here's a new chapter and we will try to update chapter 5 as soon as possible!

Hope you like it

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The days don't get better.

She feels like there is no reason to enjoy the days anymore if castle isn't by her side. She wants to hug him and tell him that she is sorry and that she loves him. She wants to tell him that she won't survive without him, that he is her one and done. It took her long to realize that, she knows it. But they've been through a lot together and they're partners, they know each other, He is her best friend. She didn't want to lose their friendship. And now she is losing the love of her life.

It's her fault. It's not like she had doubts about her love to castle. She never doubted that and she never will. She had doubts about where they were headed, what the future might bring them.

How could she ever doubt that? He was the one that stayed there next to her even on the worst days. He was the one that didn't care about all her baggage, he didn't care about all her mess, and he didn't care about all her bad things and bad moments. He only cared about her. He never gave up on her. He pushed and pushed till the walls where down. He was her one and done.

She loved him then, she loves him now and she will love him always.

Always.

She needs him. She spends the days at her room crying. Lanie tried to tell her to go out with her, to tell her that she needed to eat and take care of her but she just said:

"Not until I have him back "

Also Jim had tried to go there and make her eat but she just refused. They were worried about her. They all knew that she had acted wrong doing that to castle but everybody has bad days and she is not perfect. She acted wrong but she is sorry and she loves him. She would not came out of this if something went wrong and they didn't get together again.

They needed them back together.

Castle was a mess. He didn't wanted to talk about Kate. He was reading all the letters that Kate was leaving at his door. This morning he had picked another but he hadn't read it yet.

He opened the letter and started reading.

_Letter number 5_

_Dear Castle:_

_Almost 2 weeks. 2 Weeks and I can't even get out of my room. I miss you, I need you,_ _and I love you. I know this is only the 5__th__ time I tell you this and I can't even tell you why I haven't told you that I love you every single day since we got together. Only thing I can tell you is that when my mother died I just closed to the world, to the love, to the happiness._

_I told myself that I was never going to let someone in just to break again if something happened. You know, my mum and dad had this kind of love that just watching them you could tell they were really in love and that nobody or nothing could get them apart. Not even the big fights._

_When I was little I always thought I was going to have this love. And I've found it. You. I always asked my mum : " mum, I'm I going to have a love story with someone like you and dad have ? " she used to always smile and tell me: " Be patient, be you honey and someone will love you just for who you are. Even with your worsts sides. "_

_You did castle. You loved me for who I am. I know this is going to sound silly but I didn't want to tell you I loved you because in my mind I had this situation that if I told you I loved you something would happen to you eventually and I would lose you. What we have castle, is love. With our bad and good moments. With our smiles and our tears. It's like we are writing our stories in one of your books. We are writing our old memories while we live the new ones. And I hope with all my soul that we can put this memory in that book and keep working on new ones. I loved you then, I love you now._

_I miss you castle. I still hold on that hopefully I'll see you soon._

_PD: you will be my one and done._

No words. He had no words. Kate was opening more to him thought all that letters. He missed her too and he needed her. But he needed something. He didn't know what but he needed something to make him trust her again. She just needed to find what this something is and make it work.

*There's a knock at the door.*

- Lanie? - He asked surprise. He didn't expect her.

- Hey castle. Can I talk to you? - She saw castle like she had never seen him before. He had lost weight too and he was like he didn't sleep well on nights.

- What? - He asked. Knowing what she will say

- She's a mess. - Lanie said, hoping that castle would know what to do. But she was wrong.

- What do you want me to do? It's like everybody is waiting for me to do the step when she is the one that has to do that because she is the one that screwed this up.

- I know castle. I'm not saying she was right. I'm just saying that she is trying so hard to get you back and she doesn't even get a sign or something that you are reading her letters or that you are on the way of forgetting her. Because I know you are castle. You two are meant for each other and you can't let this end what you have. I understand you and I'm with you castle but could you just tell her that you are reading her letters or tell her that she has to take care of herself? - Lanie said. She understands castle's situation but she also knows that Kate is really sorry. She is not even Kate anymore.

- Okay. I'll talk to her. But don't expect too much.

- It's all I could've asked from you.

- Thanks Lanie.

- Thanks to you castle and we miss you guys. Look castle she has been through a lot since her mother died and she sometimes doubts. You have been with her every single day since you met. She went from saying: "He's a jackass. I don't want him next to me" to "I need him. He is my partner. My friend. My lover. My life. "So please think castle and don't let this ruin everything you've built. - And with that she was gone.

He knew she was right but he needed something. He didn't know what.

Kate heard a knock on her front door. She really didn't want to get out of bed. She was crying and she wanted to be alone. There's only one person that she wants to be with right now but she knows that that will not happen. At least not now. Finally she opened the door and she was shock because of the person next to the door.

- Castle... - she says and she breaks down crying. She feels his arms around her hugging her, holding her.

- Shh Kate, relax. - It breaks his heart to see her this way.

- I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. Please I miss you, I need you castle. Please. - She says crying.

- I know Kate I miss you too but I need a little bit of time.

- You are giving up on us don't you? - She says sobbing.

- I'm not Kate. But I just need something from you, something that shows me that you are in this. I know you are, but I need something. But Kate I just came here to tell you that you have to take care of you. You need to be yourself again.

- Not until I have you back.

- And you will. But when the time comes, I want the Kate I fell in love with and by the way I've read your letters and the Kate that writes those letters is the Kate that I love.

- I miss you.

- I know, I do too. But take care of yourself okay?

- Just for you.

- For me. See you soon Beckett!

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THANKS FOR READING! :)

reviews?!

XO


	5. Chapter 5

**We are really sorry for the late update, we've been a little bit busy! But here is chapter 5 and hope you like it :)**

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"I just need him." Kate said to Martha. She came to visit her, to make sure she was taking care of herself. Martha was like her mother. She expected her to be mad with her after what she did to castle.

"He needs you too Kate but you just have to find the perfect way to show him that you are finally in this and make him understand that you want forever with him"

"Martha why aren't you mad at me? Everyone should be mad at me. Even I'm mad at myself"

"Kate darling, we are human. We make mistakes. We are bound by our choices but we are more than our mistakes Kate and I know that you love him. That you've loved him since you first met him. And after everything you've been through, the failed relationships with men that you don't love, the shooting… it's normal to get nervous, to get scared because of everything you've built."

"I never told anybody, how do you know?" Kate asked. She never told that she was scared because of this relationship that she and castle have, that she was waiting for something bad. Life is not a walk of roses. And after what happened to her mum and how her dad went from the happiest man alive to be alone and miserable she couldn't even think in the possibility that everything with castle was going to be perfect.

"Because I know you Kate, you've been family since we met and I know I can't read you like castle does but I know your looks, how you mind works. Like that time that castle held your hand for the first time. Do you remember? He had that smile on his face but you seemed like you wanted that so bad but couldn't find the way to show it. That's who you are Kate, you suffered the hardest pain a human being can suffer, losing a loved one. And that somehow changed you and you think that you'll suffer that pain again if you care about someone again. And believe it or not I understand your doubts Kate, you only wanted to know where were you headed so you could make peace with your mum's murder and start a new life. That's why you doubted Kate, because you needed to know if that was the right time to leave all behind and start a new life with him."

"I actually gave up my mum's case because of him" she said.

"I know you did. And that's a great step darling" She said opening Kate's hand and putting a ring on her palm.

"What's this Martha?" Kate said scared.

"That's Rick's ring. Well actually your ring"

"He was going to propose?"

"Yes, he was. But he was just waiting."

"What do you want me to do with this?"

"I'm sure you'll figure it out. Just listen to your heart Kate and leave your head out of this. Don't make him wait more." Martha said hoping Kate understood what she was saying.

He had another letter on his hand. He was almost ready but he needed something. Something to show him that she was in this. That she was never going to doubt again. He loves her. And that hasn't changed yet. So he just opened the letter.

_Letter number 10._

_Dear castle:_

_Almost a month. I miss you, I love you, I need you. The other day I talked with someone really_ _clever that told me that I needed to make this right and to show you that I was in this. That I wanted forever with you. And that's what I'm going to do but first I have to explain to you why I did what I did, I have to explain to you why I doubted. It's not going to be eas, but it's going to make you understand and maybe you can forgive me, maybe you can believe in us again._

_Because it took me long castle but I believe in us, I believe in our love story, I believe in you. I made to the biggest mistake I've made in my life, I doubted because I'm not used to have someone that I really care about next to me for so long. Sure I have my dad, but I lost him long time ago when my mum died. I still have him next to me but he's not the same. _

_I'm not used to have a relationship with someone I really love and have it last. To make it easier for you to understand, I'm not use to have someone that cares about me. I used to take care of myself when my mum left me. I had to close to the world and at the same time take care of my dad, so I grew up faster than I should have, I grew up and I had to learn the meaning of responsibility for my own._

_You know my mum wasn't there to tell me: "you are going to suffer because of love, they are going to break your heart, they are going to make you cry, they are going to bring you down but you have to learn to get past that and to stand tall._ _LIFE NEVER DELIVERS ANYTHING THAT WE CAN'T HANDLE" she wasn't there to tell me how to love someone and how the relationships work. That's why my relationships never last. Because I was just hiding in them, like you told me. That's why I don't know how to do this, because you are the first person I loved since my mum died. You are the first real love of my life and I want you to be my last._

_I doubted because everything was going perfect between us and I was just waiting for something bad to happen so I could run like I always do and hide and so I didn't have to suffer again._

_I guess the bad thing that happened is this one, but it didn't made me run or hide. Thanks to_ _this situation I'm not afraid anymore, I'm not hiding anymore. I'm not saying that this had to happen so I could realize what I want but sometimes bad things happen and they lead us to the great ones._

_You are my great one. You are my world. And I want to show you that every day of the rest of my_ _life._

_Can you do one thing for me? Open the door._

_PS: you are going to be my one and done._

He didn't know what was waiting for him at the other side of the door. But he just got up and went to the door. Maybe a present? He was expecting an object and he found a person.

He found her.

"Kate?" he asked surprised.

"Hey love. Ready to go?"

"Ready to go where?! Where are we going?" he asked. She was calling him love, she was making the step, she was making this right. And he was ready.

"We are going to start from zero" she said holding his hand and leading him to the elevator.

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What do you think?! reviews?!

xo


	6. Chapter 6

**we are sorry so sorry for not updating sooner! we've been really busy! soorryy! **

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They took a cab. He sat there looking through the window, wondering where they were going. He felt her move and sit more next to him. Like she needed to feel him and then she held his hand.

The cab stopped and they were in the park. That park. Those swings. Their swings.

Once they were sitting in the swings he asked: "Why are we here Kate? "

She looked at him with tears falling down her face and said: "you remember the last time we were here? Remember what I told you?"

"Yes but what does that have to do with this? That was a year ago. - He said

"I know. But you remember what I told you about how I was never going to have the kind of relationship that I want until I solved my mum's case?"

"Yeah, I remember that "

"It was because of you"

"What? "- He asked confused

"I broke up with josh because of you. I came back because of you. I was seeing a therapist because of you. And I wanted to solve my mum's case because of you castle, because with you I want to have the kind of relationship that I want. Because I wanted a relationship with you long time ago. Probably since the day we met. Because I love you. "

"I knew that Kate"

"I know you knew that Rick, what I am asking is if you know that now? "

"I know that"

"Good, because I love you Rick. And I gave up my mum's case because all I want is you. All I want to do is spend the rest of my life with you, shower with you, and go to sleep with you, wake up with you, and have breakfast with you. I want all with you starting from now. For the rest of our life" - she said. She took the ring that was in her hand and put it in her finger.

When she looked at him she could tell he was really surprised. Really surprised.

"Kate... are you sure Kate? " - He just couldn't find the right words to tell her what that meant to him.

"Never been more sure of anything in my life "- She said.

The next thing he knows is that she is kissing him. She is kissing him with all the love she has and he feel it in the kiss. They've missed each other and finally they are where they wanted to be. Finally they know where they are headed.

"I've missed you so much and I love you but now we have to go" - she said.

"Where are we going "- he asked.

"To say goodbye to my mum "

What? When did that happened? Kate never took him to see her mother. She always went alone. He was really surprised, never in a million years he could have imagined that the Kate Beckett he met 5 years ago was going to marry him, that she was fixing this mess and that she was taking him to see her mum. She was sharing a big part of who she was with him and he was more that thankful. This was a big step for them.

Once they were there she took his hand and begging talking with her mum.

"Hi mum, this is Richard Castle. Remember him? I used to tell you that he was a jackass and that I didn't want him around me. You remember that? But when was that? Long time ago. First day I told you I love him was one year ago, when we started dating" - she said looking at him and smiling while tears were falling down her face. - "I know I've made a lot of mistakes mum and I know I stopped living my life the way you wanted me to live it but I just wanted you to have justice. I just wanted to say that last goodbye to you. I wasn't alone when I started your case because I felt like you were there with me. But everything changed when this writer came to my life" – she said looking again at him.- "I had walls and walls so that nobody could ever hurt me and so I couldn't go through that pain of losing someone loved again but he just didn't care about that. He stayed next to me for 4 years, showing me the meaning of friendship, the meaning of partnership, the meaning of love. I finally stopped hiding and we got together. Best decision I made in my entire life. I'm just going to make two more important decisions in my life. The first one is leaving this case behind mum. I know that's what you would have wanted. I promise you I will never forget you and that I will always come back here to you if I have a bad day or a great day. I promise you I'm going to live my life for you. That's one of the two important decision I have to make. And the other one is marrying this guy"- she says looking at him. - "I'm going to marry him and I'm going to start a life with him." - She says looking at her finger. "For the rest of my life Rick."

They were finally were they wanted.

"I'll be back soon mum". - She said with tears in her eyes.

"let's go home"- he said holding her hand.

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